原文地址：提倡一诗多译，推动翻译实践作者：何功杰
提倡一诗多译，推动翻译实践
拜读了网友任雨玲所吟并翻译的《睡莲之梦》一首，觉得她很有诗情又有相当的翻译能力，可喜可贺。欣赏之余，兴味所致，试着重译一次，也算是一次练习。既然她早已把我的试译在网上亮相了，我也就在转载她的原诗和译诗的同时，不恤把自己的试译亮晒在我自己的博客之中。一向赞成一诗多译，这样可以互相切磋，取长补短，共同学习，有利于推动翻译实践，更有利于提高翻译质量。 睡莲之梦
文·译/任雨玲
一朵娇羞的睡莲
静静地睡在湖边
前世多情的期盼
化作梦中的依恋
轻声地把你呼唤
荡起心湖的波澜
放逐风中的思念
悄悄地寄给月圆
（作于：2011--08--12北京）
Version 1 by Angela Ren The Dream of a Sleeping Lotus
Written and translated/ Angela Ren
A tender and shy lotus,
Is sleeping silently by the lake,
Her amorous wish in the prelife,
Has turned into the attachment in her dream.
Quietly, she is calling on you,
Ripples are aroused on the lake of her heart.
Let her missing of you fly in the wind,
And let it be sent to the full moon stealthily.
（Written and translated/ Angela Ren 2011-08-12北京Beijing）
Version 2 by He Gongjie :
The Dream of a Sleeping Lotus
Written by Angela Ren
Retranslated by He Gongjie
A shy and lovely lotus she is,
Now sleeping quietly by the lake,
Her long-cherished tender wish
Has turned into a strong love-knot in her dream.
Quietly, she is calling you now
With agitated ripples on the lake of her heart.
Oh well that her thought of you find wings on wind(注)
And fly to meet her lover under the bright moon.
注：
这句的完整句应该是“Oh it would be well that her thought of you would find wings on wind...”从句是虚拟语气,表达一种愿望。
无心剑英译【睡莲之梦_任雨玲】
睡莲之梦
□任雨玲
一朵娇羞的睡莲
静静地睡在湖边
前世多情的期盼
化作梦中的依恋
轻声地把你呼唤
荡起心湖的波澜
放逐风中的思念
悄悄地寄给月圆
（作于：2011--08--12北京）
The Dream of a Water Lily
A bashful lotus flower
Quiety sleeps by the lake.
The loving wish in her prelife
Now blooms her love in the dream.
Gently, she's calling you,
Rippling the lake of her heart.
Let her yearning fly in the wind
And be sent secretly to the full moon.
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黄新渠教授译雨玲诗《睡莲之梦》
睡莲之梦
□任雨玲
一朵娇羞的睡莲
静静地睡在湖边
前世多情的期盼
化作梦中的依恋
轻声地把你呼唤
荡起心湖的波澜
放逐风中的思念
悄悄地寄给月圆
（作于：2011--08--12北京）
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A Sleeping Lotus Dream
Chinese text : Angela Ren
English version: (Frank) Huang Xinqu
A coy and tender lotus she is,
Enjoying a sound sleep by a lakeside.
Her romantic tale in a previous life,
Has turned into a dream of love ties.
While she calls you with a gentle voice,
Ripples rise up and down in her mind.
Let her lovesick tale fly in the wind,
It brings her good tidings as the full moon shines.
September 2, 2011
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发表于 2011-9-1 11:52:38
楼主
发表于 2011-9-1 12:33:29
